She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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