'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I have already put on my inside pants.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
