I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
