puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize
