New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
