Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
