return my video game
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
