physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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