I feel great
I just peed on a car
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
either way he was missing a nipple.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize