Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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