I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
