i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
