they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
