still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
