i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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