No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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