I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize