So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
