yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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