I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
