Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
