i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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