I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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