just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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