I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
