I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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