Me. At least after what I've been through.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
