Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
