I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
