Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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