my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Randomize
