the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
