I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
