Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
