They have a pepper shaker for pot.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
