so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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