You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
