True but thats because hes a fetus.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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