I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
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