like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize