She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
