Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
