he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i just google imaged poop.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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