Im at strip club and am horny
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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