Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
