Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
