Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize