We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
