i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
