You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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