Got a toothbrush?
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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