Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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