Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
