Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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