Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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