he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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