Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
