I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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