Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
