no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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