if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
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