i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize