Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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