bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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