You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
