You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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