it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize