elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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