I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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