He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
