Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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