that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
