dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize
