just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Randomize
