I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Randomize
