remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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